


roses

by orphan_account



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm, True Love, two broken souls still find each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: even after all those years, the roses still stung on his skin





	roses

“What's your favorite flower?”

It was such a simple and casual question to him. He thought nothing of it. It was a normal thing people asked, right? Dumb, meaningless questions about their interests. Plus, Herb worked with so many flowers. Surely he had at least one type he enjoyed more than the rest. He had never seen Herb even glance at one plant a little longer than the other, or treat one plant just a little better. Even he had a preference between his guitar picks, whom he claimed he loved equally. 

He raised his eyebrows as he sipped the strong whiskey from his cup, watching as Herb roughly dropped the pot of tiny succulents from his hands onto the table. It was abrupt and fast, and if he hadn't had a table near him he would have dropped it on the floor, making it shatter into pieces. He looked at Rockstar nervously, his palms slightly shaking. He was in the same state that he was when he met someone new, or dealt with an awkward situation. This made Rockstar suddenly realize that something was wrong. This was usual. 

Rockstar dropped his drink down rather quickly onto the table and looked back at Herb with concern. “Sorry if that was a bad question.” He chuckled awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood. He felt bad. Really bad. He had done stupid stuff before, but never had he made Herb so visibly upset before. He didn't know what exactly to do to comfort him. He thought about hugging him, but the back of his mind told him that maybe that wouldn't be smart. He didn't know. Was his mind even right? 

His thoughts were interrupted when Herb let out a sigh, one that seemed to hold an immense amount of weight. “No, you're fine. You didn't know any better.” He sat himself down on the couch of their living room, picking at the leather with his nails. “It's just that, well, um. Damn it, I should have told you earlier.” Herb ran his fingers through his leaves and then started to pull on them, leaving a few of the smaller ones fall down to the floor. He curled his knees onto the couch and cradled within himself. His breathing grew heavy and hard. 

Rockstar sat down next to Herb and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling them closer to each other. He rubbed circles in his back, trying his hardest to soothe him based on instinct alone. A sharp, painful memory shot through him as he remembered who else would do this to him, but he ignored it and focused on the person who was currently curling next to him. “Don't blame yourself. Just tell me when you can.” He tried to be as comforting as he could, but he bit his lip, not knowing if what he was doing was even right. 

“Well...ok. My favorite flowers were roses. They were roses.” Herb let out a fake chuckle, one that could break anyone’s heart. It was that soft, solemn laugh that only held pain and misery. “I loved them. I loved them so much. You couldn't even imagine. I had them everywhere. I just loved their scent, and colors, and…” 

His eyes quickly darkened as he remembered what story he was telling. He grew stiff, as the memories started to crawl back. “A few years ago I grew an entire meadow of roses just for myself, back when I still lived with my parents.” His voice grew shaky, and Rockstar held him tightly. He didn't mind when Herb started to cry on his chest. “I-It was a nice meadow, with all different types of roses. Each one to me held a different meaning. T-Then one day, I-I went out to the meadow, a-and I...I…” 

The memories of what had happened to him came rushing back. He could vividly remember the thorns in his body, how it felt as they scratched his entire body as he walked through the meadow alone. The way his skin was cut to the bone, how he felt the warm blood oozing out from it. The feeling of his conscious leaving him, the pain in his heart numbing what his body was feeling. The last words he heard of the people he loved screaming his name, begging for him to respond. He had forgotten for so many years, too many. Having it all come back hurt. It hurt too much. It hurt so much that he felt himself burst into tears and dig his nails into his skin sharply. 

“I-I can't…” Herb started to hiccup loudly due to how hard he was sobbing.. “I can't. I can't continue. It's too much. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” The amount of emotions he suddenly felt surged through his mind, pushing and shoving at even an ounce of positivity he had. He didn't know where he was at this point. He didn't know who was next to him or what started if. He didn't know what he was pleading for. But plead he did. “I didn't want to hurt you, but I felt like I had no choice. I'm sorry.” 

Rockstar cradled Herb in his arms as he ran his fingers through his hair, humming softly as he tried to calm Herb down. He didn't need to know what happened, though from the sudden rambles that Herb spoke of he could guess at least half of it. All he needed to know though is that it was enough to hurt him severely, to make his normally calm and quiet boyfriend violent shake and beg with nothing but raw emotion. He knew it was enough to make him suddenly break down, like the world was collapsing around him. He knew what that pain felt like, that numbing pain that took over you and made you a different person. 

He had been there.

“It's ok, it's ok. You don't have to apologize. I understand. It's ok.” He continued to hum while also letting out sweet nothings and reassurances. Soon, after perhaps what felt like or even was hours, Herb’s violent shakes and sobs turned only to mere quiet sniffling. They stayed that way for a while, in each other’s embrace, close and near to each other. The room became warm due to both their closeness but because of the sudden swelling of their hearts from being together. Rockstar barely moved save for the occasional touch of Herb’s hair. Soon Herb, tired from his outburst, felt himself nod off and drift away. 

Once Rockstar thought that Herb was sleeping, he smiled softly. He moved the leaves away from his forehead and gently pecked his head. “I'm sorry you had to go through that.” His words were earnest, his own past pains silently seeping through his words. He had known that Herb had been through quite a lot, but had never truly seen the effects from it. Seeing this sudden side of Herb only wanted Rockstar to start protecting him more, to make him always feel better no matter what. He would drop down whatever he was doing just to make sure Herb was safe and ok. 

They both had their own pains and worries. They had both been through so much, things that they never did truly deserve. But oddly enough, the universe had brought these two broken hearts together, and had mended them to become something entirely different. Different yet incredibly fantastical and beautiful. The pain would always be there, whether it came like the soft trickling of a stream or the giant rush of the tsunami. But at least they had someone by their side.


End file.
